The trip to Orlando this year was amazing in many ways! I have always enjoyed going non stop to the parks with my girls while there, but this year, I got to experience lots of new changes.
First, Arielle stayed home, in HER home, with Jake, working, playing, making new Christmas traditions. I missed her, but I was okay. I remember the excitement of starting a new chapter with someone I loved. Nothing else is more important, and I really do remember.
Second, Amelia stayed home for a few days to work, and then joined us. So, she locked up my house, and drove down, alone, late, even spending time sleeping at ?? A rest stop? Or a WalMart parking lot? Not sure, but again, not so easy for momma. I managed. She managed. It all worked out.
Third, we were joined for our second week by Seth, boyfriend to Autumn; Pj, who is Seth's best friend; and Cassie, who is PJ's girlfriend, and friend to Autumn. So, a condo full of teens, and male teens, to boot. THAT gave me pause. I know that males don't eat the same as females (at least OUR house of females), so I did have to consider and plan for cooking a few serious meals.
Those who know me well, will know that I was challenged. LOL
And, then probably the biggest change was that I did not hit the parks each day with my girls, as is our usual habit. Instead, I stayed at the condo, reading, putting puzzles together, taking naps, soaking in the jacuzzi, and totally resting, while all of my crew of teens went and played. While this was totally different, it was totally okay, too. Autumn was worried that I was being left out, and wanted me to come one day, but it was cool knowing that she was with her sister and boyfriend, and other friends. I knew they would have fun. That was plenty good enough for me.
Sometimes I surprise myself. Had you asked me fifteen years ago, if this scenario would bother me, I would probably have said, yes. But, it didn't, and I am pleased that all of our needs were met, without the kids feeling constrained, and without me feeling left out or worried about them.
And, I think Seth and PJ had a particularly good time. Cassie, too, but she has been with us before to Orlando. This was the first time for the fellas. I think they really enjoyed it. How fun to be able to have offered them the opportunity to come and stay with us!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
December 24, 2009
I am still learning my way around blogging, and accidentally posted the last blog before I was finished. Maybe that was meant to be, since I was having trouble organizing my thoughts. LOL
As I sit here, enjoying the peace, the view and my life, I am torn. Should I write or should I revel in the moment? Maybe I can do both? I am not sure, as I have never been able to capture a moment via camera and also actually be IN that moment at the same time. We shall see.
Tomorrow is Christmas day. We will likely celebrate with a lovely meal tonight, and then sleep in and relax in the morning. The only thing that could make this day better, is to have my other daughter with me. It might not make her day better, though, since she is loving her new independent life, working, loving, partying, as only and 18 year old can do. I miss her, but I remember being in her shoes. Life is definitely for living in one's own way, in one's own time.
Having her gone is strange. I miss her, but I do not mourn her being gone. I worry about her escapades, yet they bring back my own younger days, mostly remembered fondly.
Mothering teens and young adults contains many a paradox. Missing, yet not missing them. Worrying, yet remembering. Wishing to hold them close, yet setting them free to navigate the currents of their lives. I didn't expect it to be easy to let go and watch from afar, and, in some ways it is not, but mostly it is! The whole empty nest thing seems to be a myth for me, which is definitely a good thing. Maybe because I have plans for the rest of my own life?
As I sit here, enjoying the peace, the view and my life, I am torn. Should I write or should I revel in the moment? Maybe I can do both? I am not sure, as I have never been able to capture a moment via camera and also actually be IN that moment at the same time. We shall see.
Tomorrow is Christmas day. We will likely celebrate with a lovely meal tonight, and then sleep in and relax in the morning. The only thing that could make this day better, is to have my other daughter with me. It might not make her day better, though, since she is loving her new independent life, working, loving, partying, as only and 18 year old can do. I miss her, but I remember being in her shoes. Life is definitely for living in one's own way, in one's own time.
Having her gone is strange. I miss her, but I do not mourn her being gone. I worry about her escapades, yet they bring back my own younger days, mostly remembered fondly.
Mothering teens and young adults contains many a paradox. Missing, yet not missing them. Worrying, yet remembering. Wishing to hold them close, yet setting them free to navigate the currents of their lives. I didn't expect it to be easy to let go and watch from afar, and, in some ways it is not, but mostly it is! The whole empty nest thing seems to be a myth for me, which is definitely a good thing. Maybe because I have plans for the rest of my own life?
December 23, 2009
Yesterday, a facebook post sent me on a quest to define what I know but have spent years not defining. A nice person commented that saying Merry Christmas was always acceptable, since Christmas is a Christian holiday. I posted that saying Happy Holidays respects ALL people.
I have been very uncomfortable, for a very long time, with the concept of only Christianity being "acceptable." Even the idea that it is okay to wish those of other faiths a Merry Christmas, sits wrong with me. It didn't always feel that way. In the past, I believed that wishing goodness via this salutation was acceptable. Maybe it had to do with where I lived and the openmindedness of those with whom I was surrounded. It is different now. I wish to honor ALL people, and I wish to not make anyone uncomfortable that worships otherwise, or worships not at all.
Researching the origins of Christmas this morning, has led me to a few insights into myself. Each year, Christmas becomes harder and harder, and seems more and more of a chore, less and less heartfelt. Perhaps it is my instinctual knowledge of the violent origins of some of the traditions that I have come to dislike?
For several years, we have left home and gone to Orlando to spend time during this holiday. In 2007, we spent 4 weeks, over Christmas and New Year. My gift to each of my children that year was an annual pass to Disneyworld. I had to work on my guilt at not having gifts to unwrap, but we had a wonderful time together, and my girls did not seem to feel bad that they had nothing to unwrap.
Last year, we came home a few days before Christmas day, and this year, we again spend Christmas and New Year in Orlando.
I don't know if it is the economy or just something cyclical, but I have not seen much Christmas "spirit" when I have been out and about, and I feel that, at my age, it is time to address what I feel and see around me.
The whole gift giving concept this year has sort of crawled under my skin. Money is tight this year, and gift giving feels like a chore instead of a heartfelt desire to give something that will be valued by the recipient. And reading on the origins of gifting reinforces my feelings that maybe it is time to quit giving because it is mandated, and instead only give because it is my desire to give.
I have been very uncomfortable, for a very long time, with the concept of only Christianity being "acceptable." Even the idea that it is okay to wish those of other faiths a Merry Christmas, sits wrong with me. It didn't always feel that way. In the past, I believed that wishing goodness via this salutation was acceptable. Maybe it had to do with where I lived and the openmindedness of those with whom I was surrounded. It is different now. I wish to honor ALL people, and I wish to not make anyone uncomfortable that worships otherwise, or worships not at all.
Researching the origins of Christmas this morning, has led me to a few insights into myself. Each year, Christmas becomes harder and harder, and seems more and more of a chore, less and less heartfelt. Perhaps it is my instinctual knowledge of the violent origins of some of the traditions that I have come to dislike?
For several years, we have left home and gone to Orlando to spend time during this holiday. In 2007, we spent 4 weeks, over Christmas and New Year. My gift to each of my children that year was an annual pass to Disneyworld. I had to work on my guilt at not having gifts to unwrap, but we had a wonderful time together, and my girls did not seem to feel bad that they had nothing to unwrap.
Last year, we came home a few days before Christmas day, and this year, we again spend Christmas and New Year in Orlando.
I don't know if it is the economy or just something cyclical, but I have not seen much Christmas "spirit" when I have been out and about, and I feel that, at my age, it is time to address what I feel and see around me.
The whole gift giving concept this year has sort of crawled under my skin. Money is tight this year, and gift giving feels like a chore instead of a heartfelt desire to give something that will be valued by the recipient. And reading on the origins of gifting reinforces my feelings that maybe it is time to quit giving because it is mandated, and instead only give because it is my desire to give.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Catching up
Well. The universe had other things in store for me and mine.
On the evening of the day of the Second Annual Love to Learn Conference that I co-coordinate with my friend Pam, I was admitted to the hospital with meningitis. The conference was FANTASTIC, but getting so sick, sucked. This is not the first time with meningitis for me, so I know that the recovery is slow, yet I am still fooled by periods of wellness that lead me to believe I can move forward at the pace to which I am normally accustomed. When enough is enough, I come to a screeching halt, and do a face plant into the bed, the sofa, the chair...whatever is near. LOL
On the evening of the day of the Second Annual Love to Learn Conference that I co-coordinate with my friend Pam, I was admitted to the hospital with meningitis. The conference was FANTASTIC, but getting so sick, sucked. This is not the first time with meningitis for me, so I know that the recovery is slow, yet I am still fooled by periods of wellness that lead me to believe I can move forward at the pace to which I am normally accustomed. When enough is enough, I come to a screeching halt, and do a face plant into the bed, the sofa, the chair...whatever is near. LOL
I was sick enough and still medicated enough, that my friend Rachel swept in and offered to take over for me in getting my eldest, Amelia, to her new internship at WDW.
She arrived, along with sister Autumn to try to settle in, sans mom. After a few days, and a few calls, texts, and tears, I hopped a plane to be with her as she began the process of creating a new home, while leaving the old one. I am so glad I went.
Arriving home, again, I immediately began organizing for the last Live and Learn Unschool Conference, where I have represented Usborne Books since the first conference.
I came home to an immediate book fair at a local school, after which, I collapsed into my bed for the rest of the day.
These completed, I immediately began to prepare for a NC statewide camp gathering that my family cherishes, called FLT or Families Learning Together. We prepare communal meals while at camp, and my job this gathering was to purchase food for about 90 people. It is actually fun to watch the faces of the grocery clerks when they see me buy 25 pounds of lunchmeat at one time.
So, now I am home for a while. Amelia is begging me to come back to FL for a visit, soon.
The temperatures have dropped to comfortable levels, presaging (I hope) a snowy winter.
I will be working outside over the next days, trying to winterize, with hopes of creating cold frames for my raised gardening beds.
Monday, August 11, 2008
A New Journey
Today the universe led me to blogging. I occasionally read the blogs of a couple of friends, and today, I received a strong message to create my own space for sharing my passions and my commitment to the journey!
I purchased a digital camera yesterday, not really sure why, after about two years of searching for the "perfect" camera, I should feel a strong desire to have a camera RIGHT NOW!
Today, I believe I know why. I will take pictures of my passions, and share them with those who are interested.
I purchased a digital camera yesterday, not really sure why, after about two years of searching for the "perfect" camera, I should feel a strong desire to have a camera RIGHT NOW!
Today, I believe I know why. I will take pictures of my passions, and share them with those who are interested.
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